Masculinity has gotten a negative connotation attached to it over the last few decades. Being a masculine man is seen as dangerous, undesirable, and toxic. If you're strong and want to improve your status as a man, you're seen as bad and power-hungry. Feminine behavior in men seems to be strongly encouraged in society, as is masculine-type behavior in women. It almost seems like they are trying to switch up our biological roles.
But masculinity is not, as they say, inherently bad at all. There is nothing wrong with being a man, wanting to be strong and courageous, looking for status within your group, and wanting to become good at what you do. In fact, society needs masculine men the most, especially in dire times. When the war in Ukraine started, who had to fight for their country? The masculine men. When war arrives in our Western society, who will fight then? Are we going to send our women out to die to protect our country, or are we going to let the men do it?
Everyone inherently understands these gender roles. When you turn on the tv, or ask people on the street, people seem to say things contrary to this instinctual reality, but when they would face such a situation, and instinct would kick in, they would all revert to their gender roles instantly.
So now the question remains: What makes a man masculine?
What are the qualities he needs to be called a masculine man? With the feminisation of men and the demonisation of masculinity, it has become less clear than ever what a masculine man really is. In his book 'The Way of Men' Jack Donovan explains exactly what masculinity is and how to cultivate it. He talks about the importance of the masculine tribe, the group of other men you have around you, what makes a good man, and what makes someone good at being a man, which are two seperate things.
Today we're going to talk about how to become good at being a man. Donovan described four virtues in his book which make up a masculine man. They are all crucial for becoming the best man you can be. These are the four virtues:
Strength is in its physical sense, the ability to exert force and pressure by using your muscles, and in a broader sense, the ability to exert will over oneself, nature, and others.
In its essence, strength is a purely masculine quality and is mostly admired in men. It has always been an amiable quality for every man, while for women it has never mattered if she is physically weak, it doesn’t make her less attractive, or less of a woman. When a man is weak, it makes him instantly less attractive, and less of a man. Why is that?
It’s because men have always been the protectors and providers, and we needed strength to fulfill this duty. When you go out hunting, you need the strength and condition to go after animals, and kill them. If we weren't able to do this, we wouldn't survive. The same goes on a larger and more modern scale with protection. As a man, you have to be able to protect weaker and more vulnerable people, such as women and children, because they cannot protect themselves, but they still have to be defended from threats to be able to survive. So your role as a man is to protect others as well as yourself.
You need strength when you get attacked or have to fight for your own survival, or the survival of your tribe. When you find yourself in a physical altercation, you need strength to be able to overpower your opponent and get out alive. That is why strength is such an admirable quality for men, because it used to be necessary purely for survival. Today, this biological desire for strength is still there, but it’s less prominent and not a necessity anymore in our safe society today.
This is also why you see so many weak men walking around nowadays. It’s because strong men aren’t needed in the comfortable times we’re now living through. But when shit hits the fan, and it always will one time or another, strong men are what everyone will be looking for, especially men who possess the other three virtues that will follow.
When you look at this from the level of the group, you’ll see why weak men are also not tolerated and not desirable within a group. It’s because weak men become a liability, they have to be defended because they cannot defend themselves. The weak man needs protection from others. So instead of making the group stronger as a whole, he weakens the group, and provides it with a weak spot. Now someone else has to defend this weak person and will take at least one man off the front lines, instead of having an extra man by their side in battle.
Strength is not just physical strength. Strength can also mean strength of mind, of moral principles, and strength of will. All of these attributes are also admired in men. But you know the saying: a strong body is a strong mind. So if you want to become a man of stronger conviction, of strong will, and with a strong and unshakable spirit, the best thing you can do is get a stronger body, then the mind will simply follow.
Courage is the act of doing something that involves some type of risk. It is always measured against danger or risk, but courage is mostly subjective and based on circumstances.
An act of courage could in someone's case be quitting the job that you hate where you've been working for more than 20 years. It could also be going into war for your country and leading from the front with your sword in hand, marching straight towards the enemy.
Both acts can be seen as courageous, but they are both an entirely different level of courage.